How to Educate Your Child About Sexual Abuse

From the moment a baby comes into the world, your primary role as a parent is to protect them. It begins with installing the right child seat in the car to bring them home from the hospital when they are just a few days old. As the child grows, you baby-proof the house to reduce the risk of injury.

As they get older, you begin to teach your child right from wrong, with everything from avoiding kitchen hazards to looking both ways when crossing the street.

Then there will come a time when you might have one of the most important conversations with your child about sexual abuse. This will be your opportunity to educate your child about how to recognize the warning signs of a groomer and how important it is to set boundaries.

Your conversation might also open the door for your child to discuss past incidents where abuse occurred. If that happens, you will be understandably filled with rage and confusion, but you still need to focus on protecting your child. That’s when an experienced Charleston sexual abuse lawyer can provide the support and guidance you need to navigate the process that can hold the abuser accountable and find a remedy for your family.

Before that happens, it will help you to understand the best approach for educating your child about sexual abuse.

Establishing Open Communication Channels with Your Child

There will come a time when it seems like your child is pulling away from you and isn’t being as “chatty” as they once were.

That’s a normal phase that most kids go through.

However, it could also be a sign that they are struggling with something and aren’t sure how to bring it up. That is why it is so important to establish open communication channels with your child so they will feel comfortable bringing up a sensitive subject like sexual abuse.

There are some core principles you can adopt to establish better communication with your child:

Active Listening

Active listening requires you to focus entirely on your child. If you’re having a conversation with them on any topic, put the phone down, look them in the eye, and give them your undivided attention.

Reflective Listening

When your child brings up a serious issue, you want to repeat what they said to ensure you completely understand what they are saying. This will help your child feel understood.

It also encourages them to open up and share more.

Validate Feelings

It is important to acknowledge your child’s emotions, whether they are positive or negative.

Be Non-Judgmental

You want your child to feel safe talking with you, and that means not slipping into “lecture mode” or making them feel like they are going to be punished for speaking freely.

Create Opportunities for Talks

You carry on casual conversations with your kids during meals and rides. You should also create distinct one-on-one opportunities that allow your child to talk individually with you about any of their concerns. This could happen outside the house, so there won’t be disruptions.

 Identifying the Warning Signs of Grooming

The insidious nature of a sexual abuser is that they engage in a “long game” of grooming to lure their targets into a false sense of security in order to carry out their heinous acts.

This all starts innocently enough, but it can turn dangerous.

You want to make sure your child understands the warning signs of grooming.

 Define Body Boundaries: From a young age, you should teach your child that their body belongs to them. That includes using the correct terms for their private parts, not the “cute” names. This helps your child understand that anyone who crosses those boundaries is violating their autonomy.

Explain “Secrets” versus “Surprises”: There is nothing wrong with surprising a child, provided the surprise is temporary and fun. On the other hand, no adult should ask a child to keep a secret from their parents.

Identify Uncomfortable Feelings: You should encourage children to express with you if they feel uncomfortable or “weird” around an adult. They might not be able to explain why they feel uncomfortable, but they should be able to express that.

Discuss Online Safety: If your child plays games online, they should only be using private servers where they can limit interaction with their friends. You need to explain that an anonymous person who tries to gain trust might not always have the best intentions. There should never be private chats or other exchanges with any adult online.

Identify Red Flags: There are several groomer red flags you need to teach your child, including the following:

• Unusual favoritism
• Overstepping personal boundaries
• Sexualized jokes
• Watching a child undress
• Frequent secrets
• Isolating children
• Providing drugs or alcohol
• Sharing pornography

If your child reports any of these grooming activities, you need to report what happened to the authorities and the entity that employs the alleged abuser. 

How to Respond If a Child Discloses Abuse

If your child shares with you that they’ve been abused, you need to let the child talk without interruption. Throughout the conversation, reassure your child that you believe them and that what happened is not their fault.

You also have to let your child know they will be safe now, but that requires telling authorities.

• You can reach out to the following sources:
• WV Abuse/Neglect Hotline at 1-800-352-6513 (24/7)
• Call 911 or the Charleston Police Department
• West Virginia Child Advocacy Network at 304-414-4455

Despite your best intentions, you don’t want to launch your own investigation. Your role is to report what happened. That also means you should not contact or confront the suspected perpetrator.

Let the authorities handle the investigation, which could lead to an arrest and formal charges being filed against them.

Getting Help from a Compassionate Child Sexual Abuse Attorney

As the investigation progresses, you should also speak with the experienced attorneys at Hendrickson & Long, PLLC.

We have an extensive track record of helping families deal with sex abuse claims. Our goal is to support our clients while holding any liable party accountable, which includes confronting a church if there is clergy abuse.

There are two paths towards accountability with a sexual abuse claim. The first is the criminal charges filed by the state prosecutors. The second is the civil complaint that a survivor and their family can file in pursuit of restitution. We can explain how these two options are connected and how they are independent of each other.

We also understand how emotionally draining and traumatizing these claims can be. That is why we want to ensure our clients are kept fully informed about the potential outcome and challenges. If you’re facing a situation like this, we want to hear what happened and answer your questions.

Reach out to schedule a free and discreet consultation with our offices today. Support is just a phone call away.